Devonshire Dreams

It all started so wonderfully well here in Devon...Lily, Maya and I had a good drive down in the bright winter sunshine, we went for walks along the country lanes and played pooh sticks over an old stone bridge, I wrote, played the guitar, did some yoga and meditation, enjoyed tea and cake in the quirky cafe's of Totnes, cooked up veggie feasts for us all AND....most importantly of all, I slept. And when I say I slept, I mean I really slept. None of this on-off-on-off nonsense, grappling to count up sufficient hours. I actually fell asleep within half an hour of going to bed which is virtually unheard of for me and woke up feeling like a human being.

Those few precious days were a massive boost to my confidence as there have been too many occasions recently when I've questioned my ability to effectively care for two little ones. But it's so clear: when I am slept, I am sorted. I am a good mother. I am creative, enthusiastic and energetic and wow, does it feel good. I think it's quite pertinent to quote William Blake here (blatantly nicked from my dear friend Tamzin's blog, also whose house I'm staying in) -

He who binds himself to a joy
Doth that winged life destroy,
But he who kisses the joy as it flees
Lives in eternity's sunrise.

Perhaps, you see, I was grasping on too tightly to my new-found lust for life and energy. It is SO difficult not to do this because every time I have a good spell I hope, hope, hope against all hopes that I've turned a corner. But maybe this intense desire is my downfall because it always seems that I'm once again plunged into long nights of endless tossing and turning. As Blake's philosophy would have it, I need to go back to taking one day (or night!) at a time and remaining firmly in the moment.

Having said all that, despite the sleep deprivation, I am loving being here. I love the gentle twisting lanes and the hedgerows teeming with life. I love that I get out of breath when we go for walks because it nearly always involves walking up hills, which in turn rewards me with beautiful views of the surrounding countryside. I love the slur and lilt of the local Devon accent and the kindness I have been shown by strangers. I love the emphasis on local, organic food and the community spirit that thrives in South Devon. My list of loves could go on and on.

So, how different from this will my life be in 2 months? Simple: VERY different. Replace tractors with rickshaws and old stone churches with shrines to Shiva. Replace quiet country lanes with noisy, teeming streets where nobody dares to walk(except perhaps for the venerated cow) for fear of being knocked down. We're going to India. To INDIA!!! I always said I would go back one day, when the time was right. Andy has secured a further 6 months with WSUP (Water and sanitation for the urban poor) in Bangalore and so the 4 of us are going to set up home there for half a year. I can hardly believe it. How will this affect my sleep, I wonder? Only time will tell, but one thing is for certain: it is time for a new adventure.