Sound memories

At that instant, I wondered intensely whether my now-dead father could experience this feeling; suddenly, it seemed to me that the entire world was like a palace with countless rooms whose doors opened into one another. We were able to pass from one room to the next only by exercising our memories and imaginations, but most of us, in our laziness, rarely exercised these capacities, and forever remained in the same room.'

From 'My name is Red' by Orhan Pamuk

A few fragmented memories:

* Me, aged around 7. Deep sounds of talking, like reverberating bass notes, coming up through the floor at night from a room below, disturbing me.

* Age 8. I am staying the night at my grandparents house. Because there are so many people staying that night, my cousin and I have to sleep in the sitting room. I can't drop off because the large ticking clock is disturbing me, so I drag it outside the room and close the door. In the morning, my grandfather is furious with me for having moved it.

* Age 11. At boarding school, sharing a dormitory with seven other girls. The girl in the next bed is snoring loudly and I can't fall asleep. After a long time of trying to sleep, I am so tired and upset that I start poking her. When she doesn't wake up, my sobs get louder and the housemistress hears me, drags me out of the room and chastises me for being selfish and disturbing others.

* The whole way through my seven years at boarding school, taking batteries from clocks in the middle of the room, putting them outside, stuffing them under pillows...

* Age 18, backpacking. If I am sharing a dorm room with more than one or two others, the only way I know how to fall asleep is with my headphones on, listening to music.

* In my mid-twenties, I learn a new way to block out noise at night, by squeezing my forefingers over the ear flaps.

* Age 27, I start wearing ear-plugs but their effectiveness is variable and if they don't work well, often lead to frustration and decreased chance of sleep.

* Age 28. I become pregnant, have my first child and start suffering from serious bouts of insomnia.

The link between all these memories is an obvious one: noise. Something about noise at night has always disturbed me, perhaps as a result of an earlier memory?