Jungle Talk

Just because there is no destination in sight,
that does not mean the road is not worth travelling.

Chinese proverb




I didn't get a wink of sleep last night - one of my "all-nighters" as I call them. Quite a surprise, considering I'd had a relaxing reiki session in the afternoon. So yes, today is a struggle with a long, hot day stretching out interminably in front of me and a teething baby. But it's not Lily's fault she's teething. And I have to remember to not take my struggles out on those around me, including my long-suffering husband, whom I try so hard to give a smile to on mornings like these, but find it so very difficult.


Anyway, each of my blogs must have a positive, and for this reason I have posted a photo of a French couple we met at the Rainforest Retreat about 6 weeks ago in Coorg. It's interesting how conversations with strangers or people you meet whilst travelling or abroad can often be the most enriching. Ingrid wore her heart on her sleeve, a fast-talking, passionate woman attuned to nature and with a dream to open her own eco-resort in the French Alps one day. Her boyfriend David was a quiet, softly-spoken deep thinker who worked in a Palestinian orphanage. The reason I bring them up is because one evening after dinner, to the hiss and creak of cicadas and croaking frogs coming out of the jungle, we talked about my insomnia and both Ingrid and David had interesting, contrasting takes on it which I've often thought about since meeting them.

Ingrid felt that perhaps there was a bigger picture to my insomnia; that maybe I would continue to sleep badly until I found the reason for it. And by this she meant not the underlying cause but something more vocational, for example that I'm 'meant' to write a book on insomnia, or perhaps through my writing I could help other people in some way who also suffer. Perhaps there is already an element of truth to this to come...the article going into the Green Parent magazine on insomnia may be of some help and comfort to those who read it for whom it holds relevance. Speaking of this article, I think it's time I had another read of it. It's all too easy to write advice with others in mind but sideline it when it comes to your own life.

David told me about a book he had read some years ago which had a profound effect on him. It was all about becoming the person you see yourself as and, conversely, shunning negative images or ideas you impose on yourself as they then seep into your consciousness and do you indeed become this thing you most fear to be. In other words, by calling myself 'an insomniac' (which I don't do regularly but certainly have done in the past), I become an insomniac and it thus becomes harder to escape from. This label filters down into my psyche and takes root in my deeper consciousness and very identity. On a conscious level, this is saying to me 'You are an insomniac, poor you.' And on an unconscious level, this says 'You are an insomniac. Therefore you will not sleep.'

It's certainly all food for thought. And as my quote above brings to mind, the destination isn't in sight yet. But this is a road I have to travel one way or the other. Like every negative, something postive has to come out of it at some point, I feel sure of that. But in the meantime, I'll continue to think about Ingrid and David's words and I certainly think it's a good idea to no longer call myself an insomniac, but rather a person that sometimes doesn't sleep well.