A taste of Saffron

2 decent nights sleep in a row now. It's amazing how easy it is to tip the balance of my precarious insomnia boat, in that it only takes one night of sleeping a minimum of 5 hours to feel like a human again. Conversely, when this new found normality is once again snatched away, I know it's unhelpful to feel this way, but I resent it all the more for remembering how grounded and optimistic I feel for just a few Z's under my belt.

So what have I done with my 2 days of being a 'normal' woman, wife and mother of 2? I've smiled at people, actually initiated conversations, gone to the library to choose some Christmas books with Maya, spent time with my sister, made bread, gone to my old school's centenary carol service and visited Saffron Walden for the first time (everyone must go there, at once! It's a beautiful little town). When I'm having good days, I sometimes feel this almost desperate need to pack in as many activities and conversations as I can. Talk about being an emotional yo-yo...

I think it's important to write when I'm on an up and not just on my down days. I want to remember how I used to feel on a daily basis, keep 'me' real and alive. I need to acknowledge and believe that I am an enthusiastic being; I have a lust for life, energy and curiosity. Recently I've been forgetting this as I've been judging what I've seen of my low-energy self. But perhaps this is a good lesson in just accepting myself at all times. After all, would any of us really appreciate the good times without the bad?