Exploration

What one has to learn is how to remember and yet be free of the past.

Aldous Huxley


Last night I told Andy about my Reiki session I'd had that afternoon; how it is helping and what I can feel, both pysically and mentally. For the past three years, I've been trying to find someone or something that can help me. Along the way, I've found treatments that may have helped for a short while, giving me some much-needed respite. But I've also encountered quite a lot of 'fobbing off', people trying to push anti-depressants or sleeping pills on me, or saying things like 'Oh yes, I don't sleep well either, but it will pass,' or even 'Have you tried drinking chamomile tea?' I know everybody's been well meaning, but what I've been screaming out for from the pit of my soul is for somebody to explore this insomnia with me. To listen. To take it to a deeper level that chamomile tea and lavender essence and a few kind words can only superficially deal with.

And I think, finally, I am finding that in Reiki. After last week's session I thanked Priya for everything she was doing and she quite firmly said that she wasn't doing anything; that okay, she is the channel, but the work has come from me and will continue to come from me. Because I'm on the right track, I know I am, but I still have some distance to cover. When I told my aunt, who is a Reiki master, that I was now doing Reiki and how significant I thought it was in my life, her comment was that I didn't find Reiki, but Reiki found me. During the rest of the time that I am here in India, I'm going to keep working at the Reiki, keep chipping away at the layers that have heaped themselves on top of one another, suppressing some quite important emotions that I need to release. It's amazing how some of the most significant journeys we take don't involve taking a single step.