Restlessness

Nothing has really happened until it's been described. Therefore, write alot of letters to your family and friends. Keep a diary. Don't let a day pass without recording it. whether something interesting has happened or not. Something interesting happens every day.

Virginia Woolf


Last night I slept better, but the three nights preceeding that I spent tossing and turning and skimming the worlds of hazy, half-remembered, senesless dreams. Why? Was it because these nights roughly coincided with the dawn of a new moon? Or, if I look deeper, because the dreams which I largely chose to ignore, were trying to 'tell me' something? Or was it plain and simple bad luck?

As I mentally and emotionally prepare myself to fly back across the seas away from India, patches like this when I don't sleep for a few nights leave me feeling confused. Because I like telling myself and others that I am so much better. But then I realise I'm missing the point. To be totally 'cured' of insomnia in eight months is alot to ask. But here's the thing: I can deal with this now. I'm not saying it's any fun, and I still have days that I'd like to stuff my head under a pillow and block out the light. But these days are fewer and I have, I think...I hope...stopped being a victim and taken more control of life and the cards that I'm being dealt. And that's a good feeling.